Episode 7: Merica Awakens

Since last week, we’ve updated our winners for the football picks, which we’ll be keeping you up to date on for the season.  Spoiler Alert: Galen isn’t winning.  We also tell you all the reasons why you shouldn’t buy an Apple Pencil (unless you’re Desmond)

This week, we take on the Tweet That Will Live In Infamy™ where Adrian Grenier dared to mention other people suffered as a result of 9/11, which, as you know, is inhuman to bring up.  Now, while many may say this is simply mischaracterizing people’s reactions, and that it had nothing to do with honoring Muslims in the same breath as Americans, we would counter with this

TLDR version: A Muslim kid built a homemade digital clock for school, and the led him out in handcuffs wearing his NASA shirt, which just goes to show, education doesn’t pay.  While we can write off the child being Muslim, brown-skinned, and named Ahmed Mohamed as potential reasons the Texas dweller was arrested for doing his school project, there is one small issue… why does everyone think a bomb has wires and circuit boards showing with a timer.  Anyone familiar with IEDs knows that the intent is typically to hide them, not make them look like a Bond movie trope from the 60s.

On a lighter note, we did discuss this week the nature of the connection between stealing crab legs, and getting  a job in the NFL.  We dig into the suspension of MMA fighters for marijuana being roughly 5 times the length of those suspended for steroid use, and we invent a new sport.  We know you’re curious, so we’ll just tell you now, it involves taking pads out of football, and replacing them with steroids… you’re welcome.

So remember kids, if you want to be successful in sports, don’t smoke weed.  Instead, engage in sexual assault, steal crustacean limbs, and take steroids.  After all, we want responsible players, not those lazy ass pot-heads.

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